Why Purpose Beats Talent Every Time

Ever wondered what separates people who crumble under pressure from those who thrive in the chaos? I found out the hard way – 4,000km from mainland, hanging my teammate over the side of an 8-meter rowing boat in 40-foot waves!

The Storm That Changed Everything

Picture this: It's 4am, middle of the Pacific Ocean, and I'm jolted awake by Harry A H Amos bursting through my tiny cabin door. "Paris, we need you on deck NOW. Storm Calvin has hit, we are side on to 40ft waves and we're about to capsize!"

30 seconds later, a wave nearly flips us completely upside down. Half delirious but trying to ensure that my harness is on, I'm aware I'm about to step out into a hefty storm. One wrong move and I could be swept off the boat in the pitch black darkness, and that will be the last time I see my crew mates, or anyone for that matter.

None of us knew what to do, so some silly ideas were thrown around until we agreed to throw out the para-anchor, our last-resort lifeline to stabilise the boat. I tied my harness to Harry‘s harness and strapped myself to the boat. Harry and I are now playing a deadly game of Jenga with Mother Nature – him fishing the rope out from our rudder while I literally hold him by the ankles over smashing waves that could swallow us whole.

The crazy part? This was just another Tuesday for us. After 34 days of non-stop rowing (14 hours each, every single day), life-threatening situations had become... well, just life. I knew that most people elsewhere at 4 am we’re having much more peaceful endeavour, but for me, this is what I lived for.

Setting off from Monterey

The Missing Piece Most People Get Wrong

When we reached Kauai to the warmest of Hawaiian welcome ceremonies after rowing 4,800km, I heard about another rower who'd locked themselves in the cabin for 17 days, not speaking to anyone. Same ocean, same challenge, completely different outcome. Why?

I found it hard to understand this given how my team mates and I had embraced this challenge. Then I became aware that whilst for me this fitted my life’s purpose and was a piece of my long-term vision for my life, it may not have been the same for everyone. Unfortunately, the middle of the Pacific Ocean is the wrong place to find out what you are truly passionate about, and what you are not!

The difference wasn't talent, training, or even mental toughness. It was PURPOSE.

While only 82 people have successfully rowed the Pacific Ocean, dubbed the World's Toughest Row, the real achievement isn't physical – it's having a crystal-clear "why."

When your reason why and your vision for the future is clear, then how to do it and the daily battles and struggles become insignificant, and just a task that needs to be done to get you there.

39 Days on the Ocean to arrive in Kauai

The 4 Purpose-Finding Weapons That Actually Work

Here are some tools that I found can help you get closer to knowing what your purpose in life is as quickly as possible.

1. Build Your Experience Pyramid - Want perspective? Get messy. Perspective is the base of your pyramid that really helps to come to terms with what you want to dedicate your life to. I had 10+ jobs before leaving University. Every terrible boss, every mind-numbing task, every "this isn't for me" moment was data. You can't know what you love until you know what you hate.

2. Break Free from the "Good Luck Mate" Crowd  - Cultural expectations are dream killers. Two hours after my last University exam, I was on a plane to Dubai. Why? Because I was tired of people saying "good luck mate, you'll never do it." Sometimes you need to physically remove yourself from the naysayers. I hoped and thought Dubai had no limits on my mentality. If I was wrong about this, then I wouldn’t still be here 16 years later.

3. Life Crafting - On a lonely day in 2014, I asked myself: "If I didn't have to pay bills, what would I do? If I had all the money in the world?" Then I painted every detail – the adventures, the relationships, how I'd spend Christmas, how people would remember me. This wasn't daydreaming; it was strategic life architecture that wrote the last 10 years of my life to a scarily close detail.

4. Write Your Retirement Speech - Picture who's in the room? What did you achieve? What were you known for? Work backwards from there. You can't take the next step forward if you don't know where you're destination is.

The Grit Truth That Changes Everything

When your "why" is unshakeable, the "how" becomes just logistics. Those 40-foot waves? Just another problem to solve. The sleep deprivation? Just another box to tick. The physical pain? Just noise.

Your Next Move

Grit without purpose is just stubborn suffering. But grit WITH purpose? That's when ordinary humans do impossible things.

So here's my challenge: Stop asking "How do I get grittier?" and start asking "What's my non-negotiable vision?"

Because when you know WHY you're fighting, you'll find ways to win that you never knew existed.

Question for you: Do you think grit is something you're born with, or can it be developed? Drop your thoughts in the comments – I read every single one!

P.S. If you're feeling stuck in your purpose search, remember: clarity comes from action, not thought. Start building that experience pyramid today.

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